Run Along Now, 2020.

"Run Along Now" is an essay written for Scott Saul’s Creative Nonfiction workshop. The prompt for this assignment revolved around “performance”—about how we behave in certain situations, whether in public or private, and about the roles we play, the different caps we must put on. Around the time of the prompt, I had just experienced my grandmother pass away, put my dog down, and been in constant conversation with close friends grappling with the deaths of their loved ones. Between COVID-19 and other circumstances in my personal life, death—and consequently the attempt to understand and process it—had been more present in my life than ever before. Whether through journaling or crafting an essay, writing has always been a way for me to make sense of things I cannot otherwise organize in my mind. So, the following essay is just that: my attempt to reflect on, understand and accept the chaos my 2020 presented. My mother always told me that the two most powerful events you can experience are birth and death; as such, it was important for me to meditate on my own performance in a time of passing and what that could teach me about myself.